Another case for the Couch:

I have a question for the couch. My name is Carol I’m 19 and I’m in a relationship with a 42 year old man. We plan on getting married in two months. My family hates my relationship and have tried to sabotage my wedding plans. I have three brothers whom happen to be my three bridesmaid’s boyfriends. One of my bridesmaids told me my mother is planning on standing up when the pastor ask if anyone objects. I love my mother and want her there, but I also love my fiancée. What should I do to stop her?

I need advice for Carol from the Sofa….

 

  Answers from the Couch

Beverly: I would have a heart to heart conversation with my mother and let her know that I love him and want to marry him, after all Céline Dion and her grandpa- husband lasted over 20 years. And then on the other hand you have to understand that your mother or anyone else’s mother does not want a child molesting predator to marry their baby girl, so be nice to your mom, that’s probably how she sees him. And just because Céline Dion marriage lasted, doesn’t mean that yours will, he had plenty of money to bridge the gap and he made her a big star… so she wouldn’t think about his rapidly aging self. But love covers a multitude of faults. Ijs

Barbara: What else can you do? She’s 19 the legal age to marry. The sad part about the situation is that the young lady wants to marry a man old enough to be her dad. As a matter of fact you never mentioned her father? Being that he’s not mentioned suggest to me he’s not in her life? Otherwise, the dad would probably be the one to contest. Once a person becomes grown enough to think they are ready to take life head on, you have to let them. You have the choice of making your own bed! You can make it hard, are you can make it soft. You will be the one sleeping in it. Would I try to explain to my 19 year old daughter the benefits of postponing the marriage? You bet!!!!! There’s more important things she should contend with @ 19. Schooling, guys her own age, things a child her age will experience once in a lifetime! Nineteen? (Teen) yes I say do all you can to stop her from marrying (anyone) @ this time in her life

Elaine: Barbara you don’t have any advice for her? You just agree with her mom?

Barbara: I totally did agree with her mom! Lol my advice to the young lady remains the same. You have one time to be 19! There will be no go backs, or do over’s. Before you decide to jump right into such a stern life, live a little! Why do you have to be married right out the gate? You’re not even legal to buy a drink @ 19. Is there any other reason you have to rush into marriage with someone that much older? Young ladies your age  do change guys like clothes on a daily basis. Go out on other dates, try school, get a job, and buy a car. What about your first apartment? You move out of mom’s house … into what will be your dads. Being married is a big step that @ 19 … I wouldn’t think you’d be mature enough to handle with such an older man! Ijs

Charlotte: Personally, I believe she needs to do some soul searching and start by writing down ten reasons why it is a good decision to marry this man and ten reasons why it’s not, and sincerely look at those reasons. She should be honest with herself while writing down the reasons. We all know the brain is not fully developed until the age of 25, so I believe this young lady and her choice for a mate would benefit from pre-marital counseling. She should ask her man if he is open to this.

Godiva Jai ++++SHOUTING FROM THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA… MOOOOOLESSSSTERRRR…OK WHAT CAN A 19 YR-OLD YOUNG LADY DO FOR A 42 YEAR OLD MAN … HE WAS WAITING FOR HER TO BE BORN … REALLY SO ITS DIAPER LOVE … COME ON NOW … YOUR MOM MIGHT SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T SEE…. THE MAN SEE A YOUNG COOCHIE THAT PROBABLY BARELY BEEN TOUCHED AND SHE SEE An OLDER MAAAAANNNN THAT FULLFILL FULLFILL FULLFILL HER SHE THINK NEEDS … EEEWW….. IF HE REALLY LOVE HER AND SEE THE WEDGE THAT HE IS CREATING WITH HER MOM AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS … HE WILL LET HER GO … BUT HIS SELFISH AZ… WILL NOT DO THAT….. BECAUSE HE LOVE THE CONTROL HE HAS OVER HER….. LITTLE GIRL LISTEN TO YOUR MOM … AND STEP AWAY FROM GRANDPA LOVE…++++

My take on it…

Elaine: Carol I know you feel like everyone is against you. But darling, trust me they’re not.  You are at an age where there’s simply so much to explore right now.  Yes. True.  Many people marry young and remain together for years.  But many people marry young and find themselves divorced young.   You know by reading my profile I too married at 19… but to a 20 year old man.  The difference being some 30 plus years later we both… is having ageing elements to compare and I do mean compare.  Only the beauty of us… were growing old together. I understand no one can tell their heart who or what to love. But my dear, we dated three years prior to crossing that line. Now I wasn’t a permissive child or got knocked up or anything like that.  Which demanded a marriage…  See we got a chance to become friends first.  Now, what does that all mean? If you’re knowing your future husband more than two years at the most, then you need to take a long look at what you’re throwing yourself in front of.  That would mean he saw you then… as well as now… a child.  Barbara asked was your father in your life?  But not just a father Carol, but a father figure you can trust.  Because you need to have a real talk with him about your man. Maybe even considering waiting a bit longer for the spousal relationship.  I know in two months most everything has been set and in order.  But lots of places will let you cancel or even reschedule many ventures.  It would be in your best interest to consider deeply what you’re getting into.  You see Carol you may not just be saving your future, but also the future of a little baby girl you may be blessed with.  Be it as it may Carol… your future hubby has a passion for young girls.

Good Luck Carol….From TMC.

One Way Production; which is a sponsor of … “The Marriage Couch” is striving to become one of the highest leading podiums for “Counselor’s Expertise”.  This means worldwide advertising which could contribute to enormous exposure for our professionals.