Here’s a hot one for the Couch…
Hello my name is Ellie…I’m called (Sugar Shaker) which is my stripper name. I’m coming to the couch looking for answers that may help my situation. I have a nine-year old son who is friends with my neighbor’s nine-year old son. They have been wild-n-out together since they were five years old. Doing birthday parties, school field trips, same little league teams, trading PS games and so on. Well, because her son saw me on a picture that my son took (without permission) from my bedroom, wearing my strippers outfit … He now feels he has a crush on me. I just ignored it. But…His mother has taken this all out of context. Saying how it burdens her so …That her son could have such a high attraction for someone of my caliber. It’s not like she didn’t know what I did for a living. She has now become an adversary against me and won’t allow her son to come around my son anymore. I don’t do any hardcore or escorting… I just dance. It really doesn’t matter to me what she thinks about my career, but it’s hurting my poor son. Does the couch have any ideas to resolve this? My son really misses their friendship.
What we declared from the Couch…
Janice: This is very unfortunate and I feel bad for the children. We as parents must remember that all we do, affects our children. Before any decision, we need to consider our kids. It’s our responsibility, not theirs. It’s also our responsibility to help them try and navigate this thing called life. I’m so sorry for all involved. Ellie, tell your precious son the truth behind his friends mother’s decision. His mother, like you, is looking to protect her son I’m hoping the best way she knows how. She may not agree with your vocation, so hopefully, she’ll explain to her precious son her decision. Also, reach out to her for the sake of the boys. If she refuses, then you’ve done all you can…make sure you let your son know what you’ve done to get him back to his buddy.
Audrey: Talk together as adult parents for the sake of the children. No need for them to suffer. Then put it in God’s hands.
Derrick: Hello Ms.. Ellie… I can understand your concerns for your son social instabilities. I being a single parent myself, have some similarities which has an impact on those who surround us (our children). We as adults make decisions to accommodate our survival and comforts in life. And most of the time those decisions become a way of life. In such a way that those that encircle us will adjust, to our normal rather than other understandings & beliefs. Only something as personal as our loved ones will brings us back from our comfort zones. And the cycle continues… It wasn’t until I notice the cycle that plagued not only me, but my loved ones …Whom never agreed to my way of living. And the bearing from my decision which impacted my family in such a profound way. It was too late to ease their pain of the lifestyle I choose. There are times in our lives we are given the chance to reborn ourselves for the better. Or tuck away things that have a negative impact on others. I am truly thankful to be reborn from the Heavenly Father and re-birthed through Jesus name. Amen! Who has allowed me to come with what was in my heart, and understanding of man. It’s not always good to let the right hand know what the left hand is doing because of things such as your son’s situation, which should have never taken place. However … it is wisdom to learn and overcome such events not only for your own character, but for your son’s as well.
Godiva Jai: FIRST HAVE A SIT DOWN WITH THE MOTHER OF YOUR SONS FRIEND… CLARIFY TO HER HOW IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU BUT THE CHILDREN. AT THE SAME TIME ASSURE HER THAT YOU WOULD NEVER EXPOSE ANY OF YOUR LIFESTYLE TO HER CHILD…
Beverly: This is very unfortunate for both boys in this situation. They deserve explanations as to why they cannot be friends any more. The stripper mom should level with her son so that he can be clear of the reason the other mom, won’t allow them to hang out any more. And then stripper mom should have a conversation with mom #2 and let her know that she is and have always been respectful around the boys. Explain how her son took the picture without permission and shared it with his buddy. Then, apologize to mom #2 and assure her that it won’t happen ever again. Also mention how young boys their age get crushes on older women all the time, mostly teachers. Ask her not to entertain it because boys will be boys. Besides, I could almost bet stripper mom’s son … Would most likely be the one to put an end to his friends crush anyway. Because boys do not take too kindly to their friends crushing on their moms. So calm down mom #2, that’s probably not the first time your son has seen a nude or even semi-nude woman before, especially if he has a cell phone or internet service. Plus, you knew she was a stripper and that something like this could possibly happen. If for no other reason based on her career choice. So please try not to make a big deal out of it, it’s really not that serious.
TIME FOR A LAST WORD…
Elaine: It’s a sad situation when something so simple & unplanned affect intellects to the point, where we actually forget … children are people too. Snatching those boys apart with no explanation, could destroy a couple of healthy young minds. Especially allowing them to select the cause for their distance. Furthermore what makes it so incredible … This mistake has been induced by a nine-year old. I think the first thing you should do Ellie, is have a serious talk with your son. Explain to him how he has to respect, other people’s privacy & property. Now if possible, telephone his friend’s mother and apologize again for his behavior. Then try to work out a play date. Something where the boys could be supervised. Another thing about the whole incident which bothers the Sofa … Is how the other mother critiqued you. After at least five years of association. Sounds like to us this could be a blessing in disguise. All were saying is … that’s how we see it here on … TMC.